London Estate Agents.. Buying Agent translates.

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A quick little guide to help you unravel London Estate Agent speak:
  • Secure gated development …. It needs to be, it’s in Vauxhall.
  • Bright lower ground apartment … when you take the bars off the windows.
  • Charming … pokey.
  • Character features … A fireplace and a plastic ceiling rose.
  • Well maintained … not up-dated since the ’80’s.
  • Conveniently located … above a kebab shop.
  • Luxury kitchen … a bit of granite.
  • Central Ealing location … Hangar Lane.
  • Un-modernised … minging.
  • Recently refurbished … laminate flooring.
  • Ealing Common … Acton.
  • Stunning communal areas and gardens … stunning service charge.
  • Spacious eat-in kitchen … they’ve knocked kitchen into 3 foot side return.
  • Generous entertaining space … lounge knocked into diner.
  • No external shots … ex-local authority.
  • Prestigious development … The ugly one from Girls Aloud bought there 5 years ago.
  • Exceptional value for money … short lease.
  • Lively area … crack dealers.
  • Highly individual … highly ugly.
  • No onward chain … Granny’s died there.
  • Stylish decor … the duvet matches the curtains.

 

 

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